Skip to content

 

The 10 Worst Movies of 2017

16 December 2017 | Features, Film Lists | by Mike Gray

Here it is: the 10 worst films of 2017. It’s often difficult to judge what’s truly “good” or “bad” about film: after all, even universally disliked films have their fans. Instead, this list was put together based on expectation, budget, and the talent involved. While some films weren’t made for much money (and it often shows), and a low budget is no excuse for making a shoddy film, the worst films of the year go to high-budget, wide-release box office disasters.

In the cases of these titles, no amount of marketing or re-editing could fix productions whose budgets run between $40 to $300 million. What makes them so terrible—the worst of the year, in fact—is that they weren’t amateur or indie productions that simply missed the mark they were aiming for a little: they went so decidedly awry from execution to delivery that even after big-name star turns, months of shooting, a year of editing, and untold tens of millions went into marketing, they died on the vine upon release, playing to half-empty theaters and losing their production companies gigantic amounts of money.

Of course, their massive failures are our gain since tearing into big-budget film atrocities is just good fun. With that in mind, here are the 10 worst films of 2017.

 

10. The Boss Baby

The Boss Baby

An imaginative young boy named Tim is upset when his parents bring another child into the house–literally, since their new baby arrives in a taxi. He’s especially annoyed since they now give the newborn all of the attention he was accustomed to receiving from them exclusively.

But Tim finds out his new baby brother (voiced by Alec Baldwin) talks like a character from Glengarry Glen Ross, wears suits, and is actually part of an organization called Baby Corp., and–hold on, there’s more setup involved–he drinks a formula that makes him intelligent and has infiltrated Tim’s family because his parents work for a company called Puppy Co. that are releasing a new version of a “Forever Puppy” that will be more popular than babies, which this new baby has to stop so babies can continue to hold the market share(?) of being loveable. Got all that? Together, Tim and his new boss baby must stop from these new puppies being released into the world, thereby…jeopardizing babies?

And wow, for such a convoluted setup this a mindless movie. Insulting the intelligence of children and babies alike, The Boss Baby is a sloppily written, has headache-inducing CGI, and features an unlikeable main character in Baldwin’s “boss baby.”

Alternately too juvenile for adults but with a premise far too sophisticated for children, this has inexplicably become one of highest-grossing films of the year, which can only be accounted for by being released during a season where there were few family-friendly films in theaters. History will most likely not be kind to this movie. Like a baby, it’s a rare film that lacks a sense of object permanence. Instead, the viewer begins to forget The Boss Baby almost immediately after it ends.

 

9. The Snowman

The Snowman

A serial killer is on the loose, and it’s up to Harry Hole (Michael Fassbender) to unlock the puzzling he leaves behind as his calling card. Unfortunately, his calling card are snowmen. But he has to solve this crazy mystery somehow, so with a new recruit Hole works the case—especially since The Snowman is now taunting the police with clues on how to save his next victim.

Adapted from a best-selling novel and with top-notch talent both behind and in front of the camera, The Snowman should have been the next Zodiac. Instead, it’s a poorly mashed-together serial killer crime drama that never quite adds up to a satisfying whole. What makes it one of the worst films of the year is how it took great source material, a fine ensemble cast, and director Tomas Alfredson—who had previously made the brilliant Let the Right One In and Tinker Tailor Soldier Spy—and completely fucked up every single good aspect it had going.

The “snowman motif’—a criminally underused phrase—ended up being more comical than menacing, while the protagonist is an unlikeable loser and the entire plot is jumbled and leaves the viewer not caring what happens in the end. Barely making its money back at the box office and receiving universally scathing reviews after a fair amount of hype in the media, The Snowman ends up being hands-down one of the worst films of the year.

 

8. Fifty Shades Darker

Fifty Shades Darker

While the runaway literary success of the Fifty Shades of Grey trilogy puzzled everyone (except for the hordes who bought it), that could be excused: if people want to read poorly written erotica, then at least it’s nice that people are reading again.

The general public scoffed when they heard it was going to be made into a movie: after all, such a notoriously graphic book couldn’t be anything other than straight-out porn, right? But it was cleaned up for the theaters to secure an R rating in 2015. Critics hated it because it was ostensibly the same kind of crap the book was, but it turned a healthy profit and it was announced they’d just keep on making the movies until the trilogy’s conclusion.

Now in 2017 we have Fifty Shades Darker, which continues the Mary Sue erotic adventures of Anastasia Steele and her totally believable devoted billionaire sadomasochist lover Christian Grey. This time around they’re on the outs with each other, with Grey trying to win her back. She begins doing some detective work and uncovers Grey’s abusive past while also finding rivals in Grey’s former girlfriend/submissive Leila and former dominant Elena. And she gets a big promotion at work and Grey asks her to marry him because despite the BDSM cover it’s still pretty much just a chick flick.

Aside from terrible direction, writing, and performances, the film is shallow garbage. Then again, so were the books, so this should be expected. As mentioned, Fifty Shades of Grey is really just a wish fulfillment fantasy aimed at the 25-and-older female quadrant with a little “taboo” sex thrown in for extra spice. Despite its glaring, obvious weaknesses as a film, it made quite a bit of money at the box office, so expect sometime next year the (hopefully) concluding film Fifty Shades Freed. See you next year when it lands on the same kind of list as this one.

 

7. King Arthur: Legend of the Sword

King Arthur The Legend of the Sword

Guy Ritchie seems to have experienced a career of diminished returns: while his first two features, Lock, Stock and Two Smoking Barrels and Snatch, are instant classics in the crime-comedy genre, after that his filmography took a drastic nosedive. Following up his first two male-oriented buddy-crime comedies with the abysmal Swept Away, starring his then-wife Madonna, Ritchie put out middling films that either gently retained some of his strengths or else were naked commercial cash-ins like Sherlock Holmes.

Following up his interesting but commercially unsuccessful adaptation of the TV series The Man from U.N.C.L.E., Richie chose a project that seemed far outside his wheelhouse: an epic fantasy film that takes place in the middle ages about the legend of King Arthur. This became King Arthur: Legend of the Sword. And it was terrible.

Released this year to little fanfare, this $175 million boondoggle has Ritchie’s fingerprints all over it—which is unfortunate, as the slick, ultra-modern stylistics of Ritchie’s vision does not meld well with a centuries-old story about knights and kings. Instead, King Arthur is portrayed as a warrior-king who has one foot in the 13th century and the other in the 21st.

The action sequences are jarring since they are to have taken place long ago but are depicted as part of a modern action movie. Besides this, the film itself is somewhat incoherent in its attempt at revisionist history and adapting a story that has been done so many times there’s little left to uncover that’s new no matter how flashy the cinematography and editing.

Perhaps Ritchie will again find his stride, or at least apply his talents to a story that’s more in-line with his kinetic style. But since this big-budget film crashed so badly upon release—recouping only $141 million of its production budget—it’s unlikely Ritchie will be helming such a large production any time soon (which is probably for the best).

 

6. Ghost in the Shell

ghost-in-the-shell-movie-e95870433a64bc33

1995’s Ghost in the Shell is considered one of the best animated films of all time. This hard-R cyberpunk sci-fi film set in 2029 New Port City, Japan, follows the efforts of an assault team lead by synthetic cybernetic human Motoko Kusanagi to track down a hacker named Puppet Master who is “ghost-hacking” people for his own political ends. Meanwhile, Motoko is haunted by her own ghost, which may hold the key to who she was before being rebuilt into the cybernetic being she is today.

Radically original and visually stunning, Ghost in the Shell was a high watermark for anime, becoming a breakthrough hit in the Western world and introducing a generation to Japan’s animation output. Now considered one of the best films of all time, there was no reason to remake it–but because people like money and hate to come up with original ideas, 2017 saw the release of the live-action Ghost in the Shell.

Forget some of the more obvious and well-trodden criticisms of the film’s whitewashing of its main characters: why was this film made in the first place? It cost an unbelievable amount of money to make ($110 million, not including promotional costs), and while it looks spectacular, what did it accomplish that the first film didn’t? In fact, it accomplished less since even CGI and MPAA rating-conscious studios couldn’t capture the ultra-graphic stylistics of the first film. Key elements couldn’t even be reproduced, such as Motoko’s somewhat androgynous nature and copious–but symbolically important–nudity.

A live-action (and whitewashed) adaptation wouldn’t please fans in its home country of origin, and while Ghost in the Shell is a much-loved anime, for the most part it’s also relatively obscure to mainstream Western audiences. Besides all that, those that do love the original film hated the idea of it being adapted and would refuse to see it. But at least Scarlett Johannson knows how to play an unemotional character.

Having only grossed $169 against a total $250 million budget (with promotion included), the live-action Ghost in the Shell is considered a gigantic box-office bomb at this point, which hopefully will signal to studios that there are some things that don’t need to be adapted or remade.

 

 

Pages: 1 2


   

Other Brilliant Movie Posts On The Web
   

Like Our Facebook Page and Get Daily Updates
   
  • Zwei

    Transformers: The Last Knight

  • Pingback: The 10 Worst Movies of 2017 – Great Fast()

  • Pingback: The 10 Worst Movies of 2017 | Roberto Cimatti()

  • Gilang Apsara

    “Worst” ? I don’t think so. “Biggest Failure” is more suitable for the post title.

  • Fifty Shades Darker I can agree with as it is just downright offensive. I’m aware of how bad The Snowman is but I don’t think Tomas Alfredson is at fault because it was revealed that he didn’t have final cut and much of the story got fucked as he was locked out of the editing room because it was messed up.

  • Marco

    Mother! should be on the list!

  • X Y

    11. Raw

    • Sailor Monsoon

      Ha

  • Dreaming Wanderer

    The Mummy should be on this list. They spent a lot of money, they wanted to begin a whole new universe with monster movies, and this failure manage to put everything to rest. Most epic failure of the year in every aspect.

    • ArmitageX

      Right? It wasn’t great or anything, but I’d watch “Justice League” 15 times in a row before I’d sit through the horrible “Mummy” reboot again.

  • Kosta Jovanovic

    There are so many choices that are worse than what is presented here, half of the titles here are medoicre

  • Andrey Edward

    can someone recomend for me some really cool sites for movie lovers?

    • ArmitageX

      If it says “Taste of Cinema,” you’re not there.

  • Rui

    Where is the last jedi? The movie that completely destroys the star wars universe

    • Lucas Corsi

      I didn’t read this

      • Rui

        ok. do you want a cookie?

        • Lucas Corsi

          No,just a logical comment.

          • Rui

            Bravo, Kant. Do you want a cookie?

          • Lucas Corsi

            After I suicide myself after read that,yeah,i want a cookie.

    • David

      Funny, that’s why it’s my favorite Star Wars movie, because it completely destroys the star wars universe and shits on a bunch of old self-serious fans that need to let go of star wars, stop taking shit so seriously, and let somebody else have a turn. It is the closest any of these movies has gotten to KOTOR II, which is still the best star wars story I’ve experienced by far. Fuck your jedi, fuck your skywalker bloodline, fuck luke, he was always a whiny shit and a flat character, I’m glad he died an old broken man. I was cheering. Star Wars has never been better than it is right now.

  • colonelkurtz

    Some of these films aren’t even that bad. Did you forget the likes of Pirates of the Carribean and John Wick 2 (obious money-grabbing and nonsense plot, and nonsense plot and one of the worst actors in action films)? I’ll volunteer to be the only one to say it, but Ghost in the Shell wasn’t as shitty as most people like to say. Fuck your whitewashing comments, the characters look like the originals, and while it’s not groundbreaking or as intriguing anymore, it was still a good and entertaining flick barring some bad dialogue and overtrodden slow-motion. But since overused slow-motion pisses me off, Wonder Woman was the shit film of the year (they used so much of it so poorly executed it ruined an otherwise [maybe] passable film).

    • colonelkurtz

      Plus, while some of us like to bicker about bad films, this website is called “Taste of Cinema.” Emphasis on taste. That implies films people might find interesting to watch for one reason or another, not shitty films we should steer away from. Most of us regulars are either film-snobs or watch enough films to have our own standards, and if we haven’t watched any of the films on your list, we probably weren’t going to. It adds nothing to this website.

  • FortesqueX

    …and yet you all jizzed your shorts over “Blade Runner 2049,” which was just about on the same quality level of the “Ghost in the Shell” re-do.

    • Harsha Raman

      Just because of its poor run at the box office, it isn’t implied that it’s a bad movie. I’d still say that it’s one of the best sci-fi movie of late.
      In today’s trend of burying a decent story under the razzmatazz of CGI, 2049 stands out as a prime example of how CGI can be employed as a way of effectively depicting the auteur’s vision.
      TL;DR – Fuck you for comparing 2049 to Ghost in the Shell.

    • Sailor Monsoon

      You’re insane.
      They’re leagues apart in quality

  • Sailor Monsoon

    Kuso.
    It’s not even close.

  • Jay Williams

    Hating Justice League is a critic’s cool-kids conceit. It feels good to pile on when everyone else is piling on. You at a cocktail party: “I know! Was’t it the worst!? (Looking desperately for peer approval) Me at that same cocktail party: “What a group think d-bag”

    • Lee S

      Ummm… OK?

  • Stephus

    Where’s Star Wars??

    • Rui

      Finally! I thought I was the only one!

  • I really enjoyed Ghost In The Shell. Sure the story devolved, but goddamn those visuals and the soundtrack. Visually arresting

  • Nkem Ononye

    What about that brainless resident evil movie? That one is sucky just like the previous movies

  • Nuwanda

    The Last Jedi. Dumb. Mind-numbingly dumb. Soul-destroyingly dumb. What did George Lucas know in 1977 that Rian Johnson failed to learn in the intervening 40 years? Almost everything, apparently.

  • Oci_One_Kanubi

    “after all, even universally disliked films have their fans.”

    I guess the writer’s English teacher didn’t give hir a good understanding of the word “universal.”
    Ironic, in view of hir later comment about bad writing in the “50 Shades Darker” review.

  • Roy Langeveld

    Movie snob makes a 10-item list full of supposedly bad movies (mostly easy targets like box office disappointments), his judgment apparently justified by the use of magical snob words like “ephemeral”, “ostensibly” and a set of arbitrary criteria (such as ‘sloppy writing’). The Snow Man apparently has a “jumbled plot”, but I got it in one viewing, whereas the original Ghost in the Shell, “one of the best films of all time”, I had to see twice and even then had to look up the synopsis to make any sense of it (the subtleties of Japanimation storytelling, no doubt). If the writer of this piece doesn’t like “incoherent stories and flat characters”, he should have had the balls to include Atomic Blond for being the most incomprehensible movie of the year, with a plot that changes direction every 10 minutes, filled with hollow sensationalism (i.e. lesbian sex) to divert us from its sloppy writing.

  • Tony

    I have to say “The Beguiled” should be on this list. By far and away, the worst film I’ve ever suffered through.

    • David

      The GF made me watch the beguiled with her. I have a very open mind and have enjoyed Sofia Coppola’s work in the past, but goddamn that is a horrible movie that sucks any possible enjoyment right out of a room. I actually liked John Wick 2 better than the first one, tbh. They just really went over the top with it in a way I appreciated and I’m glad they got rid of the dog murder/grief over wife’s recent death as a motivation for John.