Nearly every movie star has, at least, one film they regret. For some, it is a small budget, often straight to video fiasco that happened early in their career while they were desperate for work. For others, these movie roles were chosen after the actors were well-established and were empowered to say no.
Horrible jokes, overly convenient movie plots, and, of course, hundreds upon thousands of unnecessary sexual innuendos. These and many more factors are what make a horrible film. Without further ado, take a look at these embarrassing film flops, and squint in the direction of the stars who decided they were a good choice.
1. The Lone Ranger (2013) starring Johnny Depp
Johnny Depp has been in so many popular movies such as Pirates of the Caribbean you wouldn’t think that he had made anything bad. Unfortunately, this is not the case with “The Lone Ranger”. This film has been described as “Everything wrong with the current Hollywood blockbuster system”. From horrible plot points and the obvious fact that this movie was unnecessarily long “The Lone Ranger” is a film that you shouldn’t see anytime soon.
The basic plot of the film is very well written, as it starts with a boy visiting the wild west show in the early 1930’s. There he meets Tonto, an elderly Indian man who began to tell him the story of the “Lone Ranger” from his perspective.
As he tells the story, he starts to reveal some shocking facts such as, the lone ranger was actually a man named John Reid, a man returning to his hometown to of Colby to prosecute the criminal Butch Cavendish, who is being put to death. Unfortunately, Butch escapes killing seven out of eight of the Texas Rangers that were sent after him. John then teams up with Tonto and goes on a journey with the man to bring Butch to the justice system
One of the major issues of this film is the fact that they made it much longer than they needed. Adding seemingly random plot points, making dialogue go on forever, and the fact that most of the movie could have been cut out, and it wouldn’t have made any difference.
2. Howard the Duck (1986) Starring Tim Robbins and Lea Thompson
Howard the Duck is widely renowned as one of the worst movies ever to be produced. With its random jokes and dialogue, sexual innuendos, and the poor quality of the computer graphics, these are just a few reasons that this film is so horrible. It almost caused the complete bankruptcy of Marvel Studios. Despite how terrible this movie was without it, animation studios such as Pixar would not exist today.
The biggest issue of this film lies in the fact that the technology used to create the special effects were so underdeveloped and infantile compared to the technology used now. Which in turn, caused a lack of balance in the slightly realistic Howard the Duck, and the rest of the real-life cast.
Throughout most of the movie, Howard appeared to be completely expressionless, just blankly staring at the camera as it moved around him. Why was he so expressionless? Why did he only give things a dead stare? It was so creepy.
Also, the plot barely makes any sense. First he’s transported from his world to ours, where he conveniently saves a woman from thugs. It also bothered us that she just “happened” to know a man who could send Howard home. Everything, except for the fact that Jenning transferred an evil spirit into his body, was way too convenient.
3. Batman and Robin (1997) Starring George Clooney
This movie wanted desperately to be taken seriously but failed, or at least, that’s how everyone saw it. Despite the obvious fact that the director and the actors wanted it to be taken seriously with its dark tones, unfortunately, there was so much going on in the movie that you couldn’t help but to laugh as it played in the theaters.
From horrible dialogue and one-liners such as “Hey Freeze, the heat’s on” to the fact that Robin had nipples built into his costume, and the unintentional homoerotic undertones in the interactions between the leads, this movie is a pure nightmare. Everyone from Alicia Silverstone and George Clooney should be ashamed of the fact that they ever had anything to do with this movie. George Clooney gave a formal apology to Adam West for the costume nipples and the line “Freeze! Freeze.”
The only thing this movie succeeded at was giving everyone either a look of confusion or a good laugh. Also, did anyone else notice that this all just seemed to be one big ice show? You probably could have gone to Batman on ice and have gotten a much better entertainment source
The worst part about this movie were the god awful one liners. From sexual innuendos to just horrible puns and incorrect trivia. Despite its dark tone, this was one of the reasons we couldn’t take the film seriously. Some of them were so bad that we decided to choose our favorites. So here are our ten favorite, horrible, one-liners from the 1997 film “Batman and Robin.”
1. This is why Superman works alone.
2. My garden needs tending
3. What killed the dinosaurs? THE ICE AGE!
4. Stay cool, Bird boy.
5. No matter what anyone tells you, Bane, it really is the size of your gun that counts
6. I’m putting you on ice
7. We’re going to need a bigger cave
8. I really am to die for.
9. Bombs away BATMAN!
10. So many people to kill… so little time
From the nipples carved into the costume, to the fact that there were so many continuity issues, as well as horrible puns and one-liners. This film could not be taken seriously. No matter how hard we tried every time we tried to watch this film one of us would end up howling with laughter. At least, it makes a great comedy.
4. Cat Woman (2004) Starring Halle Berry and Sharon Stone
This is an unnecessary mix of Egyptian lore, witchcraft, horrible editing and special effects. The idea of Halle Berry in a catsuit might have been a box office draw, but even she couldn’t appeal to enough people around the world to make this work.
Catwoman features Halle Berry as Patience Phillips, a weak and insipid woman who fails to inspire sympathy or confidence. Patience accidentally uncovers some wrong doing by her employer. To keep her from talking, the company’s henchman cause her to drown. After this comes some really confusing and inexplicable events that reflect all kinds of plot holes and bad writing. Patience didn’t die, there are cats, and she becomes an antihero.
Sharon Stone appears as the vain and manipulative wife of the ceo of the cosmetics company. A cop develops a crush on Patience, but becomes obsessed with Catwoman who vascilates between hero and villain. If all of this sounds convoluted and confusing, that’s because it is. All of this, combined with scene chewing acting, and gratuitous sexuality are what make this a movie that both Berry and Stone should be ashamed of.
5. Dream Catcher (2003) Stariring Morgan Freeman
Given bad reviews such as being called “A likable disaster” Dream Catcher makes people shake their heads in disappointment at the high predictability levels as well as the fact that this is simply another film that cannot be taken seriously. Especially after Freeman’s reveal as an alien hunter.
This film just barely managed to break even at the box office. This film disappointed audiences who were looking forward to a meeting of talents between Freeman and Stephen King
In all honesty, the first part of the film was great. It had all of he aspects of a great Steven King book. A group of friends, who all share a common bond, decide to visit the place they love from their childhood. Then the alien crap happens. I mean, what else could cause one’s rear end to be bleeding horribly like that? Then another issue is why didn’t they flush it? Or at least, try to?
Seriously, it would have made a lot more sense to see them try and flush the thing instead of trying to hold down the toilet seat. Of course from this point on the film itself was trying way to hard to be “Alien”. Which, more than likely caused a multitude of issues that the fans had with the film.