It’s the night of your first date with someone fresh and new. You are excited/nervous about your movie night that you planned. If you picked any of the movie below, you might not get a kiss at the end of the night, second date, or they might even run out of your place.
A bad first date film is usually overly violent, quite sexual in nature, or has tumultuous relationships that do not promise a bright, happy future for you too as a couple. To show that these were some of the worst choices for a first date, or any date for that matter, some spoiling had to be involved. So SPOILER ALERT and don’t choose any of these movies if you want to see that special someone again.
15. Eyes Wide Shut (1999)
The last film directed by Stanley Kubrick, Eyes Wide Shut is an erotic thriller starring then couple Nicole Kidman and Tom Cruise. The story, set in and around New York City, is about Dr. Bill Harford, who is shocked when his wife tells him she thought about having an affair.
Harford embarks on a sexually charged night-long adventure, in which he infiltrates a massive, masked orgy of an unnamed secret society. It is an erotic thriller, but it also is a complex story of love and marriage. The film also features plenty of Venetian masks, which have a long history of being used in promiscuous activities.
The film was praised and misunderstood at the time, just like most of Stanley Kubrick’s filmography. Especially if you watch the censored United States version of the film, then you will probably be very confused. Due to the film’s overt sexual nature, masked people orgies and overall esoteric feel, Eyes Wide Shut should not be on a date movie playlist, especially for a first date.
14. Last Tango in Paris (1972)
This erotic drama caused quite the firestorm when it was released, for more positive reasons in France, and for more negative reasons in other countries, like the United States.
Directed by Italian director Bernardo Bertolucci and starring Marlon Brando and Maria Schneider, the film follows a recently widowed American who begins an anonymous sexual relationship with a young betrothed Parisian woman. The film’s raw portrayal of sexual violence and emotional turmoil led to government censorship around the world and a powerful, rave review from Pauline Kael.
Detractors of the film called it misogynistic, filth disguised as art, and male domination. The scandal caused by the film focused on the anal rape scene where Brando’s character uses a stick of butter as a lubricant.
Kael said it altered the face of an art form and called it the most powerfully erotic movie ever made. So, a film that has caused this much of an uproar that features anal rape using butter, probably not the best choice for a relaxing date with a bowl of popcorn.
13. Blue Velvet (1986)
Complicated, sexual, and mysterious, Blue Velvet is a psychological mystery film from one of the kings of surreal, David Lynch. Some advice: avoid all films made by David Lynch on a first date, unless you too have seen them before and understand the surreal nature of most of his film, then go right ahead because he is brilliant.
However, if you are like most of the population and haven’t seen all of Lynch’s filmography, this is not one to start a relationship with. This type of neo-noir thriller gets into your head and stay there, regardless of whether you want it to. Violence, abuse, molestation, a severed ear, in short, this first date would not be forgotten soon, but for the wrong reasons.
Although the film first received mixed review, it has gained a huge cult following and the film is now considered one of the greatest of the 1980s and of all time, this is not a film to start a relationship with. If you bust out Blue Velvet on a first date, then you will are unlikely to receive the benefit of the doubt retrospectively like the film did.
12. Shame (2011)
It’s in the title everyone. A film called Shame, even though it stars the incredibly talented Michael Fassbender and Carey Mulligan and is directed by the man who helmed 12 Years a Slave, another poor choice for a first date, Shame fits its title.
Rated NC-17 in the United States due to the explicit nature in which the film dives into the sex addiction of Brandon (Fassbender) and for the nudity of several characters. Within the first 30 seconds you see Fassbender’s member so probably not the best choice for a first date. Shame is also all about sex and porn addiction, shown through Brandon.
Brandon is either having sex or masturbating for a decent amount of the this movie. Carey Mulligan who plays Brandon’s sister Sissy, is also battling her own demons and succumbs to the pain of her troubles and tribulations.
The film is incredibly courageous and powerful, it’s open, it’s a walk on the wild side of sex addiction, which is all-encompassing like a craving for drugs. Because you suggested you watch this, your date might think you are a sex addict or will cheat on them with prostitutes, which is probably not the best first impression.
11. Closer (2004)
A film directed by Mike Nichols, Closer, tells the story of Dan (Jude Law) who meets an American stripper in London (Natalie Portman) who gets hit by a car. They start dating, he writes a novel about her, he gets bored, so he hits on Anna (Julia Roberts).
Pretending to be Anna in a chat room, he lures Larry (Clive Owen) to a chance encounter with Anna, both relationships disintegrate. The film is kinda depressing and none of the relationships work out, it’s not romantic in the slightest.
Based on the Mozart opera Cosi van tutte, only a modern and tragic version, Closer is an example of attractive actors doing less than attractive things.
Although the film did receive praise, the acting, especially that of Owen was highlighted, Closer is not happy or jovial, nor romantic. Basically, you should not watch this as a first date movie, no matter how good it is, because the premise is everybody cheats. Sounds like a great way to start off a relationship, said no one ever.
10. Revolutionary Road (2006)
Based on Richard Yates’ classic novel from 1961, this is another example of a film not to watch on a first date because watching tumultuous relationships before ever being in one with the person who is next to you is not a good way to start to hang out with that person.
Starring Leonardo DiCaprio and Kate Winslet as a couple in 1950s suburban America, Revolutionary Road drives deep into the troubles of suburban life, gender roles at the time, and marital problems. Three topics that should probably not be brought up on a first date.
The film is also directed by Sam Mendes, who recycles some of the “suburbs are killing America” vibes from another one of his films, a best one, American Beauty, which should also not be watched one a first date. The film is well done, beautiful, and a handsome adaptation of Richard Yates’ novel of the same name, but with topics of adultery and spousal abuse and plenty of arguments between the couple, this is no way to start a relationship.
9. Who’s Afraid of Virginia Woolf (1966)
Based on Edward Albee’s play of the same name, this is the not a good film to start off a relationship with. Each relationship made through the four characters of the film is highly dysfunctional, especially that of couple Martha and George, who entice each other into madness.
George, a college professor, invites young couple Nick and Honey to have late night drinks with them, Martha, who did not know they would have company is not so happy about it and fights with George for the remainder of the evening, affecting the relationship of Nick and Honey.
One of director Mike Nichols’ crowning achievements, Who’s Afraid of Virginia Woolf was nominated for 13 Oscars and was inducted in the National Film Registry in 2013. It was also seen as the best performance from Hollywood legend Elizabeth Taylor, who won her second Oscar for the role of Martha.
Although this film has a lasting legacy and explores human nature quite well, a film about dysfunctional relationships that features many insults is probably not the best way to start a relationship.