The 10 Best Quotes in a Kevin Smith Movie

5. Clerks

The Line: “You know, there’s a million fine looking women in the world, dude. But they don’t all bring you lasagna at work. Most of ’em just cheat on you.”

Context: Dante was feeling bad after the events unfolded at the Quick Stop which involved his ex-girlfriend being hauled away in an ambulance after having sex with a dead guy who was masturbating in the bathroom. Jay and Silent Bob were intending on cheering up Dante and trying to offer their words of wisdom regarding his situation.

Why it is great: The line itself was intended for Jay to say; however, Smith decided at the last minute Silent Bob would have one line to make it more meaningful.

It is meant to give Dante something to think about and not take for granted the good thing he has going with Veronica in hopes of something better.


4. Chasing Amy

The Line: “Since you like chicks, right, do you just look at yourself naked in the mirror all the time?”

Context: Banky Edwards (Jason Lee) is speaking with Alyssa Jones (Joey Lauren Adams) and they are discussing the specifics of lesbianism which Banky is having a hard time dealing with.

Why it is great: Chasing Amy had a polarizing reaction from the gay community in general: some saying Smith was a homophobe and some saying Smith was brave for portraying and writing for these characters again talking about uncomfortable subjects.

For a lot of people, this was the first time we heard about gay prejudice and this was an entertaining lens to view the material and subject matter and bring it to light.


3. Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back

The Line: “All you motherfuckers are gonna pay. You are the ones who are the ball-lickers. We’re gonna fuck your mothers while you watch and cry like little, whiny bitches. Once we get to Hollywood and find those Miramax fucks who is makin’ the movie… we’re gonna make them eat our shit, then shit out our shit, and then eat their shit that’s made up of our shit that we made ’em eat. Then you’re all you motherfucks are next. Love- Jay and Silent Bob.”

Context: Jay and Silent Bob discover after meeting with Holden McNeil a movie is being made of their lives and this new invention called “THE INTERNET” is a way anyone can anonymously criticize and write scathing diatribes of anything they want.

Why it is great: After witnessing all the negative blogging against the yet-unmade film, the two protagonists decide to go to Hollywood and try and stop the film from being made.

This line sets up the plot for the rest of the film and the ensuing misadventures. The film is worth seeing just for Mark Hamill as “Cocknocker”.


2. Clerks

The Line: “I’m not even supposed to be here today!”

Context: Anyone who will listen is subject to Dante’s constant complaining about the fact he was supposed to have the day off so he could sleep in and play a game of hockey. Only because he is such a nice guy does he go in to work at the Quick Stop and continually be taken advantage of by the people he encounters.

Why it is great: The line sums up one of the feelings of the film which is we put ourselves in a lot of situations in our lives and it is up to us to get out of them. If Dante would have just said “no”, he could have had the day he wanted to have (but we would have missed out on his hilarious day to come).


1. Clerks

The Line: “This job would be great if it wasn’t for the fucking customers”

Context: Yet more complaining from Randal to Dante about his pathetic life at RST Video and the fact he has to put up with a lot because of the life he has chosen in customer service.

Why it is great: The line serves as a supplement to the film’s tag line “Just because they serve you … Doesn’t mean they like you.”

It prompts the discussion of whether the customer is always right and the fact that those who serve us have to tolerate a lot of grief in the daily performance of their duties.

Try and remember this the next time you buy a slushie!


Honorable Mention:

If you have never seen any of Kevin Smith’s Q and A sessions, highly recommended would be “An Evening with Kevin Smith” where he discusses lots of interesting aspects of filmmaking and lets you in on some Hollywood inside stories.

My favorite piece is when he was given permission to write a draft for a Superman script, but all he had to do first was get the approval of mega-producer Jon Peters. He meets with Peters who describes the type of Superman film he would like to see which would have been interesting to say the least.

He did end up producing the Bryan Singer “Superman Returns” from 2006 which may explain a lot.

Author Bio: Andy Kubica is a life-long cinephile. Having spend time as a video store manager, movie theater manager and the first DVD buyer for a former rental chain he now spends every waking moment reducing his film “bucket list”.