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13 Movies You Should Never Watch With Your Significant Other

15 January 2014 | Features, Film Lists | by Dan Torkel

unfaithful movies

Some movies are meant to be seen with friends. Others are meant to be enjoyed as “date movies”. But some rare films turn the movie going experience into a 2-plus hour exercise in awkward tension. These films forgo the basics clichés of most love stories and typically devolve into the dark underworld of human relations.

The following are 13 films that under no circumstances should be watched with your significant other. This is in no way an indictment of these films as many are critically and popularly acclaimed and are in fact excellent. What they have in common is the uncomfortableness you and your husband, wife, fiancé, or boy/girlfriend will experience during and after watching them. The best movies provoke debate, dialogue and conversation. These films provoke anger, suspicion, and inadequacy. You have been warned…

 

13. Hall Pass (2011)

Hall-Pass

The Movie: Owen Wilson and Jason Sudeikis are two bumbling guys bored in their relationships, who are given a one week break from marriage by their wives.

Why you should NOT watch with your SO: This “would be comedy” opens up all sorts of Pandora’s Box questions married couples should not explore. The men in the movie prove they know nothing about actually meeting women as the women explore their own freedom. Many married individuals saw the previews and said, “Hey Honey we should try that!” By the end you’ll be questioning each other’s vows.

 

12. Zack and Miri Make a Porno (2008)

Zack and Miri Make a Porno

The Movie: In Kevin Smith’s Z&M, two friends, Seth Rogen & Elizabeth Banks are in bad financial trouble and of course what else is there to do but… make and sell a homemade porno. Of course, friends become lovers who can’t handle it and need over two hours to resolve their feelings.

Why you should NOT watch with your SO: Zack and Miri is all in the title. No one wins in homemade pornography, and broaching the subject could be a deal breaker. It all stirs up issues of sexual inadequacy and well, the obsession with pornography.

 

11. Chasing Amy (1997)

Chasing-Amy

The Movie: Chasing Amy stars the usual Kevin Smith crowd focusing on Ben Affleck’s Holden who falls for a lesbian (Joey Lauren Adams). After getting her to switch teams, her past stirs up all sorts of problems for his personal and professional relationships.

Why you should NOT watch with your SO: Chasing Amy is about a man unable to deal with his girlfriend’s promiscuous past to the point where he sabotages his entire life. Watching it with a significant other might cue questions of past sexual experiences and promiscuity and end in real life arguing and despair.

 

10. Eyes Wide Shut (1999)

eyes wide shut mask

The Movie: Stanley Kubrick’s last film explores a married couple’s adventures which involve admitting sexual fantasies with strangers, following women home, and sneaking into high society orgies.

Why you should NOT watch with your SO: Don’t you just love Tomcole? Oh wait…..maybe they shouldn’t have watched the screening together. Everything in this film makes marriage and sex feel creepy and awkward. Tom Cruise and Nicole Kidman were married in real life and divorced soon after adding to the overwhelming eeriness. Not to mention you may start to give dirty looks to everyone your significant other works with.

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  • George Kozera

    Brokeback Mountain!! Fishing with the guys? Sure you are!!!

    • JonRalphs

      Ha funny guy.

  • J Pablo R Hdz

    What about Blue Valentine?

  • thelimerent

    the ending of unfaithful is wishful thinking. they’re fantasizing about getting away with it. the camera pulls out and they’re sitting outside a police station. boom.

  • Tony Blundetto

    This is no surprise. Hollywood has been trying to kill the marriage institution for years. Just watch any lifetime movie and you will see how men are vilified. Most movies nowadays are a about the “poor pitiful housewife” who has no zest in her life and thinks that an affair is the answer. No wonder women lead the way in divorce today.

    • Anthony

      Lifetime Originals are hardly “Hollywood.”

  • Jose Ignacio

    500 days of summer

  • Anthony

    Blue Valentine was a huge miss on this list.