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10 Things Supernatural Movies Always Get Wrong

09 January 2014 | Features, Other Lists | by Johnathon Neal

supernatural movies

Having a Demonologist girlfriend has its upsides, when writing a supernatural thriller for example or discussing various myths and legends she’s right their with the answer. It does also mean that watching most horror movies is rendered impossible as she squirms in the corner trying not to shout angrily at the TV as screenwriters callously abuse the myths and lore surrounding the subjects. “With just a little research they could make it accurate and sacry!” A complaint I often hear. As such I have learnt a lot about the Hollywoodisation of the Horror genre, so here are the top ten most common goofs made by modern screenwriters when approaching the unknown.

 

1. The Devil Is A Demon

the-exorcist

The Wrong Idea: The devil is a purely evil, maniacal being that spawned from Hell.

As Portrayed In: The Exorcist

Why It’s Wrong: There are any number of accounts in varying religions regarding the Devil, however as Hollywood mainly draws in Christian and Hebrew traditions we shall approach from a similar angle. In Christian mythology the Devil (A.K.A. Lucifer) is in fact the first angel to fall from grace, after disobeying God’s orders to bow at the feet of humanity. As such he was sentenced to remain in Hell until the end of days. In order to prove his theory the Devil spent his sentence taking the souls of those sent to hell, and further twisting them into beings of pure evil (Demons).

 

2. Ghosts Can Hurt People

grave encounters

The Wrong Idea: Killer ghosts can stalk you, and do anything from strangle you, to throwing you across a room.

As Portrayed In: Grave Encounters, Thirteen Ghosts

Why It’s Wrong: Let’s be clear, ghosts are the souls of those whose mortal coil has ceased to be, detached remnants of a life long gone. So although these spirits may be able to commune with characters, even show themselves and sometimes move objects, remember that they are beings of pure energy, performing any one of these tasks drains the batteries. So imagine what strangling a person, or even throwing them across the room might do to the old power cells?

 

3. Zombies… UUUURGH

Dawn Of The Dead

The Wrong Idea: Zombies are mindless rotting corpses that stalk the earth without direction, feeding on anything or anyone they happen to come across.

As Portrayed In: Dawn of the Dead, Cockneys Vs Zombie’s, The Walking Dead

Why It’s Wrong: This was an invention by horror director and genius, George A. Romero, as a device used to signify the mindless, monotony of our consumerist existence. However his stylized idea has now been ripped off by every gore obsessed fan boy with a camera and a free weekend, dispensing with the sociological undertones of Romero’s classics and going primarily for the ideology of “blood and mayhem is cool”.

In fact the term Zombie is derived from the Voo Doo priests of Haiti, who (legend has it) could summon the dead back to earth, minus their soul, and use them as puppets to perform whatever sinister deed they had in mind.

 

4. Ouija Boards

Long Time Dead

The Wrong Idea: So we all know the story, bunch of teens get drunk, one of them decides they should summon the dead, they all gather around some giggling, and one or two nervously protest but nonetheless join in. The teens miraculously summon a spirit and chaos ensues.

As Portrayed In: Long Time Dead

Why It’s Wrong: Many people believe the Ouija board’s roots are buried in the history of the ancient religions, Paganism, Ancient Greek Ideology, the Mesopotamians. Unfortunately this just isn’t true, the Ouija board was in fact not invented until the late 1800’s, its creators, the Kennard Novelty Co. had noticed a substantial rise in the practice of “safe spiritualism” in 19th Century America and so took it upon themselves to create a device that would act as an aid to those wishing to communicate with their dear departed. None of the men hired to were of course spiritualists you understand, but all were keen businessmen and intelligent entrepreneurs, who saw an opportunity and cashed in on it.

 

5. Gypsy Curses

thinner

The Wrong Idea: Gypsy Elders can strike you with a curse using the utterance of just one or a few words.

As Portrayed In: Drag Me To Hell, Thinner

Why It’s Wrong: If this is true then why the hell aren’t Gypsies ruling the world in these movies universes? Instead they spend their time living off the pittance they earn in travelling fairs, sipping home made vodka and in one of our examples losing their homes. Damn it just walk into the White House and claim the Presidency on threat of being cursed. In fact curses of any kind take a lot more than just one word, it involves a long and complex ritual involving, at their most basic, blood sacrifice, grave dirt, and a sample of the victims DNA.

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  • Fuckyoubitch

    This is dumb

  • Mark Workhoven

    Actually, Hollywood is wrong about Satan even more than this author realizes. Nowhere in the Bible does it say that Satan was an angel that fell from Heaven, that he lives in Hell or that he’s interested in collecting souls at all. Lucifer was a human king who fell from his throne on Earth, and the Book of Revelation says Satan will be cast into Hell at the end of the world. So these things all got mashed into a Satan mythology that was invented in the Middle Ages.

    • Joey

      You’re partly correct, but Satan is NOT a human, according to scripture.

      The word of the Lord was to Tyre itself (Ezekiel 27:2) and to the ruler of Tyre (Ezekiel 28:2). Beginning in Ezekiel 28:11, a lament (expression of grief or mourning for past events) is expressed to the king of Tyre; or more specifically, to the one influencing the king of Tyre. Note as well that the king of Tyre was never a model of perfection (verse 12), nor was he on the mount of God (verse 14), nor was he in the Garden of Eden (verse 13)

      Satan is mentioned in conjunction with angels (Matthew 25:41; Revelation 12:9) and the “sons of God” (Job 1:6, 2:1), which many believe to be angels. Although no Bible verse actually states that he was originally an angel, he is called a cherub in Ezekiel 28:16. The meaning of cherub is uncertain, though it is usually thought of as an angelic or heavenly being.

      In 2 Corinthians 11:14, we find that Satan masquerades as an angel of light—another allusion to his angel-like status.

      Although it is possible that Satan was an angel, it may be better to say that he was originally a “heavenly host” (which would include angels), since we know that he came from heaven, but don’t know with certainty that he was an actual angel.

      Recall Isaiah 14:12:
      “How you are fallen from HEAVEN, O Lucifer, son of the morning! How you are cut down to the ground, you who weakened the nations!”

      • Mark William Diegutis

        Isaiah 14:12: does not talk about lucifer. if you read up to that point and understood the passage in its real context you would see it is talking about King Nebuchadnezzar ,who likened himself to a god and that the passage was said sarcastically to mock him as God strikes him down to live as a crazy man in filth …and also since lucifer is a latin word which didn’t exist in those times, it is safe to say that lucifer meaning shining one is used in jest to mock the king.
        the only other places you will see anything relating to lucifer is when Jesus calls himself the morning star. Everything else is conjecture and added (like many things) from pagan beliefs (Prometheus)

  • Bam504

    Grammar……That is all.

  • jlen gete

    Satan is actually roaming around the earth, and can has access to God.1) He tempted Christ in the wilderness 2) Satan talked to God about punishing Job. He is not yet confined to anything, that will happened only in the millenium kingdom will he be imprisoned temporarily (revelation) Then will thrown to the lake of fire afterwards. Hollywood got it right lol!

  • Jack Beale

    The demon in the exorcist only claims to be the devil himself and as the old priest points out, you can’t believe a word he says. I don’t think it was meant to be satan. More a evil demon.

  • Jim

    SO STUPID….Demons are fallen Angels, not human souls. The Devil was NOT an angel but a completely unique being all onto himself….He was not the first of anything nor the last…he is one and only….and the rest of the list is just as stupid because we KNOW THESE THINGS….it’s called FICTION!

    • Matt Khourie

      Sorry guy, the Devil (as most people know it) aka Lucifer Morningstar aka The Prince of Light was the first angel to catch the boot for failing to submit to God’s command to worship humanity. reference: any bible ever written.

  • Miss Spyridona

    The demon is not Satan in the exorcist, his name is Pazuzu and it’s based on Babylonian mythology. William Peter Blatty is Catholic and knows his stuff.

  • Tenby Davidson

    It’s all fiction, so it can be what ever the writer wants it to be, no one got anything wrong, apart from the writer of this article.

  • theonlyjett

    Demonologists and psychics? Really? That’s who’s telling us what’s actually real? Alrighty then.