The 20 Most Boring Movies You Should Avoid
What can make a movie boring? Can it be characters that are not that interesting? Or what about a plot that goes nowhere? Maybe it is these things plus the fact that it’s over three hours long! Here now is my list for the most boring movies that I have ever seen. If you have the chance of watching these movies, give it up, try to keep away from them as far as possible, life is too short to watch boring movies.
20. The Good Shepherd (2006)
Why So Boring? “I want to downplay the violence, depict it in a muted way. In those days, it was a gentleman’s game,” explained director/star Robert De Niro of his CIA origins story.
The same De Niro who played those well-known muted gentlemen Travis Bickle, Al Capone and Max Cady.
The result speaks for itself, a sparkless, procedural affair that even manages to douse the passions of anybody wondering what a screen marriage between Jason Bourne and Lara Croft might be like.
How To Add A Bit Of Excitement: Ditch the shepherds, for starters. All they do is watch their flock by night.
How about killer robots?
19. Far And Away (1991)
Why So Boring? Clearly, Tom and Nicole had a thing about tedium, given their best efforts at somnambulance in Eyes Wide Shut.
But our peepers were screwed tight with seconds of Ron Howard’s patronising Oirish romance: part poverty-porn, part history lesson about 19th Century American land grabs. Yawn.
How To Add A Bit Of Excitement: Instead of America, they go to Krakatoa. Just before it erupts.
18. The Matrix Revolutions (2003)
Why So Boring? Remember how disappointed you were when The Matrix Reloaded came out? The crap rave and the Colonel Sanders lookalike spouting media-course gubbins?
It was a test. To see how gullible we were, to see the extent of our fanboy devotion in sticking through to the bitter end.
And Revolutions was the punishment. Just as much postmodern BS, but now even the action – an endless mecha-battle, outside of the Matrix, involving characters we don’t care about – is rubbish.
How To Add A Bit Of Excitement: Shut up. Get back in the Matrix. Kick some ass.
17. Seabiscuit (2003)
Why So Boring? This biopic about a popular Depression-era horse – yes, really – shocked the bookies by getting a Best Picture nominee.
The film (and presumably the Oscar voters) go all dewy-eyed about the unexpected success of a stallion the pundits had consigned to the knackers’ yard.
But for all the quasi-mystical naval-gazing, it’s actually quite simple. Seabiscuit had long odds, he made poor folk a heap of money. And he had a stupid name. End of.
How To Add A Bit Of Excitement: At least have the horse talk. Has Disney taught us nothing?