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20 Big Lies Movies Told Us About Life

23 September 2013 | Features, Other Lists | by David Zou

the-shawshank-redemption

Hollywood: mother, teacher, secret lover. Every time we take a seat in the cinema and point our faces at the colorful pictures and marvel at the explosions and people pretending to be other people, we’re learning something. Frames are full of revelations, and no matter how aware we are of the fiction caveat that comes with movies (even the ones that pretend to be based on a real life story) we’re picking up “facts” by the process of cinematic osmosis.

That might be as simple a revelation as Al Pacino not being able to act anymore, or Michael Bay movies being a crime against artistic integrity, but the learning exchange is always in effect. But unfortunately, Hollywood is also a beast made of lies – the truth is invariably less exciting than fiction, and changing the laws of physics, or ignoring science entirely often results in a better shot, regardless of the impact that might have on the more suggetible members of the audience.

 

20. Brilliant scientists are incapable of boiling an egg…

brilliant-scientists-are-incapable-of-boiling-an-egg-

The Lie: A person’s ability to comprehend quantum physics is inversely proportional to their ability to remember names, dates and how to tie a tie. Also, considerable intelligence is almost always accompanied by oafish clumsiness. Scientists in particular are wholly incapable of staying on their feet.

The Liars: Back To The Future, Flubber, Honey I Shrunk The Kids, Waterworld

In Real Life: Genius in one field does not always come at the price of being a total incompetent in every other element of life! Similarly, scientific discovery does not necessitate a laboratory covered in scorch-marks and broken glass.

 

19. Airport security is easily evaded…

airport-security-is-easily-evaded-

The Lie: Airport security can be bypassed with relative ease, provided your motive is not to blow up a plane but to tell your departing loved one how you feel. When you are eventually apprehended, the consequences will be nothing more sinister than a wagging finger or a clip round the ear.

The Liars: Love Actually and various other romantic fantasies.

In Real Life: No matter how romantic your intentions, if you attempt to barrel through passport control, you will be taken down. Hard.

 

18. Computers are operated exclusively by keyboard…

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The Lie: Buying a mouse is a waste of money, as all computers functions can be achieved by a frenzied bout of typing. In addition to this, sunglasses are recommended as computer screens are so bright, their contents can be seen reflected in the user’s face. Finally, hacking is relatively elementary, and is largely reliant on possession of a wide, password-busting vocabulary.

The Liars: The Net, Hackers, Swordfish

In Real Life: Computers are quite complicated. That’s why IT departments exist. When will we see one of them in a film, eh? Eh?

 

17. Venom can always be sucked out…

venom-can-always-be-sucked-out-

The Lie: A bite from a venomous creature will spell curtains unless you can quickly suck it out of an open wound. In which case, you will be fine. After spitting the venom out again, no remnant is ever left behind, nor does it mingle with the saliva left in your mouth. If the wound is in a hard-to-reach area, a friend can always be depended upon to grudgingly help you out.

The Liars: Your Highness, Bananas, Snakes On A Plane

In Real Life: Whilst this technique might slow the process down somewhat, human circulation would carry most of thevenom away from the entry point within seconds. And putting poison in your mouth is never really okay…

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  • AnnJoyViewster

    A good selection, but this list can be continued and continued. That’s what I usually criticize films for – things that are terribly illogical and opposite of reality. The ones I hate the most are jumping on the cars or trains at full speed (seriously, someone can assume it’s possible!) and taking (plus usually crashing) someone’s car (often also throwing the driver or passengers out) because the HERO needs to do whatever he thinks is important. What a great reason and a nice way to solve your problems.