20 Awesome Movie Jobs That Don’t Exist In Real Life
Real life jobs can be a real drag, such that it’s no surprise we often retreat into the world of film for escapism, and if the awesome explosions and brilliantly imaginative stories aren’t enough, you might end up wondering what it’d be like to live in this world; to walk around, talk to people, and even have a job.
And I’m not talking about being a secretary at Stark Towers or something – though as far as secretarial positions go, that’d be pretty damn awesome, albeit hazardous – but the awesome jobs that just don’t exist outside of a cinema screen.
I’m talking about the jobs we all said we wanted to have as kids, before realizing there wasn’t much demand for a Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle in the real world. We might get older, but our desire for these awesome cinematic professions to become a reality holds stead-fast.
Here are 20 awesome movie jobs we wish existed in real life…
The Movie Job: Using your parapsychology skills to track down and trap the spectral apparitions of Midtown Manhattan, just like the gang in the eponymous 1984 Ivan Reitman classic.
Desirable Position? Oh, now we’re talking. Awesome jumpsuits? Check. Proton packs? Check. Crazy company car, oddly sexy receptionist and a slobbering ghoul for an office buddy? Check, check, paycheque. Unbelievable.
If It Existed In The Real World: You wouldn’t see us for dust. Well, more likely ectoplasm. It’d also get the risible Derek Acorah off our tellyboxes, which would be worth an extra celebratory Bank Holiday in our books.
19. Adjustment Bureau Worker
The Movie Job: Shady, fate-obsessed ‘fixer’ working for the Chairman to steer people’s lives in pre-determined directions, as seen in The Adjustment Bureau.
Desirable Position? Why the hell not? We’re more or less over the hand-wringing moral quandaries involved in most of these jobs by now. The Man has got us all so jaded, all we see is a cool hat and the ability to teleport through magic doors. Winner. Screw the ethics.
If It Existed In The Real World: Apparently, we’d all have been nudged down paths that led us away from impulsiveness, misadventure and financial ruin. Barred from all pubs at birth then, presumably.
18. Light Cyclist
The Movie Job: Attempting to fence off and thus destroy rival light cyclists – humanised computer programs – in the combative virtual arenas of Tron (1982).
Desirable Position? High risk, high reward. High risk because you stand a good chance of being vapourised every time you step into the saddle; high reward because you more or less look cooler than anyone else ever. Tough call.
If It Existed In The Real World: Nobody would waste their time with Formula 1. Mind you, given the 50/50 chance of death in every Light Cycle pro race, perhaps the standard would be less impressive than we’re imagining. Pac-Man geeks would eventually take over the world. Just like in reality, then.
17. Enterprise Comms Officer
The Movie Job: Working the phones – well, y’know, or whatever – on the deck of the USS Enterprise, which always appears to be a key role (if a somewhat unsung one) in the Star Trek movie series.
Desirable Position? Definitely. Big comfy spin-chair, seat near Uhura, and little chance of being slaughtered because they always find some wimpy irregular cast member in a different coloured sweater to beam down for that.
If It Existed In The Real World: There would be clear progression opportunities – Uhura herself went on to become a full commander by The Wrath of Khan. Intergalactic golf courses would be heaving with portly former Communications Officers, we reckon.