Déjà Vu? 5 Super-Cliché Movie Scenes

In real life, recycling is a good thing; it helps save the planet and makes you feel better than people who throw glass in the garbage. But when it comes to the movie world, recycling is a way of churning out movies and making the audience feel all warm and fuzzy inside. I mean, haven’t you ever noticed that just about every romantic comedy is made with the same formula in mind? Regardless of the genre, tons of movies do their recycling by repeating the same scenes over and over again. Hey, it’s environmentally responsible!

Man and Woman Accidentally Fall on top of Each Other in “The Wedding Planner” and “The Proposal”

Is there a cinematic law that I’m unaware of? Because it seems like every romantic comedy ever has to have a scene where the two lovebirds end up in a tussle and land face to face on the ground. Clumsiness is so romantic! Of course, the results vary; hard-to-get heroines wiggle out with a “harrumph,” while other characters use it as an excuse to get that elusive first kiss. And while we’re at it, what’s up with the post-coital scenes in every romcom; where do directors find sheets that always come up to the woman’s armpits but only reach a guy’s hips?

Women Bond Over a Shared Love of Motown in “Stepmom”

If you have two warring females in a movie, what’s the fastest way to form a bond? Well, Diana Ross, of course! We all know that no woman can resist the bonding powers of Aretha and a hairbrush-microphone rendition of “R-E-S-P-E-C-T;” it’s just like, the laws of feminism (10 points if you know what movie that line is from). Seriously, if you’re taking a cue from movieland, that rival you have from accounting just needs some karaoke and you’ll be instant BFFs.

Lawyers Eat Chinese out of Cartons with their Sleeves Rolled Up in “Clueless” and “Catch Me if You Can”

If everything I’ve learned about the legal system from movies is correct, and I believe it is, all lawyers and law enforcement agents have a serious MSG overload. Because we all know that when the going gets tough, the tough order from House of Chang. I firmly believe that without sweet and sour pork and chicken balls, America would be completely overrun with criminals and all of the innocent people would be thrown in jail because their lawyers had to eat Greek.

The Slow Clap from “Citizen Kane” and “Remember the Titans”

There is no moment as epic in a movie as the slow clap. You know the one; it’s when one person starts clapping slowly, and others join in. Soon, the clapping builds to a thunderous applause while the hero drips tears and does something heroic. And in “stuff that would never happen in real life” news, it turns out that the slow clap is about as fictional as a unicorn. I mean, when was the last time you felt a need to applaud with a solid three seconds in between each clap? Well, that’s probably because you’re not Denzel Washington, so joke’s on you.

Guy Practices What He’s Going to Say in the Mirror in “American Gigalo” and “Pulp Fiction”

Doesn’t matter if it’s an inspirational drama or a romantic comedy, the mirror is every character’s sounding board when it’s time to say something important. Hey, practice makes perfect, but I would like to know what makes the character’s bathroom so soundproof. I mean, usually the other person is waiting in the living room, and apparently isn’t concerned that there’s a guy in the bathroom saying her name repeatedly while talking to himself. To me, that’s kind of a red flag that you’re dating a psychopath, or at least an egomaniac.

Come on, Hollywood. You can do better than this! The millions of dollars you throw around each year tell me you can. Any takers for a scene where a couple falls on each other and complains about getting skinned knees?

Stephanie Cable is from Salt Lake City and writes exclusively for CableTV.com. As a movie maniac, she works day and night to bring you the best entertainment articles around.